- Spending much of their life going in opposite directions and not understanding why they do it.
- Constantly searching for “something missing”, but not knowing what that ’something’ is. This can be felt like a life long search for the missing ‘other’.
- A subtle feeling of insecurity or abandonment. I have had clients express this feeling with confusion as their parents never made them feel this way, its simply something they have always felt.
- Feeling ‘unhappy’ for no reason
- Having a sense of life being incomplete even when everything is going well and ‘right’.
- Feelings of incompleteness
- Being haunted by a strange sense of vulnerability.
- A longing desire for that perfect relationship, finding your ‘soul mate’
- Being extremely empathetic and sensitive to the needs of others
- People with devoid cysts or teratomas (painful lumps/tumours)
- Vanishing twin survivors can sometimes form intense relationships quickly and then let go of them just as quickly.
It’s time for me to offer my first free Webinar journeying with the Spirit of Plants and the first Plant Spirit that has stepped forward is Cannabis. The divine Avalon Darnesh and I will next Wednesday night be offering a healing journey with the spirit of Cannabis. With the intention of healing our relationship as individuals and as a culture with this incredible medicinal plant.
To be perfectly honest with you when she came to me I was scared. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be associated with her, The stigma, the persecution, the mental illness, addiction stories, all the negative things I knew about this plant came rushing to the surface. Cannabis or sometimes known as Marujuana (A conveinent term created by big Pharma to demonise the plant and monopolise its healing properties) has a long and complicated history and this is exactly why doing this webinar and this healing is so important.
It took quiet a lot of work on my behalf to remove the story surrounding her before I could find her in her purest form as a beautiful and powerful plant gifted to us by Mother Earth herself.
I have never been drawn to use Cannabis myself (besides trialing as a teenager) but she has played a very big story in my life by association with the people I love. I think this is perhaps why she has chosen to work with me. I am not trying to justify anything about this plant for myself, I am simply wanting to be a vessel for her message and her healings gifts. I wish to help all those that need and seek her medicine to be able to do so in a way that is sacred and beneficial on all levels for both themselves and Cannabis as a plant.
My journey with Cannabis the plant spirit started by doing some readings Avalons tribe and for clients who wanted to connect more deeply and spiritually with a plant they were already connected with physically. These readings were not normal readings. The spirit of cannabis had a lot to say to me and I had to return to journey with her Shamanically over and over again.
Once I truly met Cannabis. I was in love.
Cannabis let me know it was time that we healed our relationship with her and that she has many gifts to offer us at this time on the planet, both for our physical and spiritual well being.
Some of her gifts are;
- Bending and blending of individual egos for a common purpose
- Helps to heal psychological vision distortion (this is why she is psycho active drug)
- Helps develop the strength of love, especially when strength and love are seen as polarities.
- The ability to maintain multi-faceted consciousness.
- Healing of fear of social commitment in family and community.
- Helps to bring repressed emotions to the surface to clear, especially feelings of anger and fear created by feelings of powerlessness and emotional supression.
- Receptivity to human love, maternal nurturing, the ability to be mother and be mothered
As you can see Cannabis is a plant of the heart, when I told her I was ready to serve and the idea of doing a webinar with Avalon had come to fruition I asked the Spirit of Cannabis.
What do you want me to speak on your behalf? Her reply is below.
“I want you to teach them how to use my gifts by choosing to have a conscious relationship with me. A conscious relationship with me is reciprocity, its awareness and its choosing to journey with my medicine, not escape with my gifts.
I enhance what you already are and you are here to offer more to this world. It is when we come together as two fully functioning wholes that a new and deeper medicine can be born.”
Its now been nearly three months since I began my Plant spirit journey with Cannabis, my personal healing has been deep the revelations have been transformational. She is not a plant to be missed and It is time for me to share her with you. So with all that said I would love for you to join both myself and Avalon Darnesh for our free webinar ‘Healing your relationship with Cannabis.”
May she reach all of whom she seeks.
This webinar is for you if;
- If you desire to come into right relationship with this plant
- If you wish to heal past negative associations with this plant
- If you are a loved one of someone who uses this plant.
- If you work professionally with addictions and this plant
- If you are interested in deepening your understanding of plant spirit medicine.
Blessings and love Amanda
To join us you can register here, For all those who cannot make the live healing we will send a recording post webinar.
The muffled sounds of suppressed weeping wash over me as I enter the funeral hall. Moon white Lilly Flower arrangements drape over the dark wooden pews, their scent of innocence and purity fill me with an unexpected sense of peace. I look to the awaiting coffin at the end of the hall, I cannot see a picture on top of the coffin so I anxiously look around trying to identify the people in the room. Why am I here? Whose funeral is this?
A woman wails loudly in her grief, her pain vibrates through my body, I quickly lower my eyes no longer wanting to risk making eye contact with anyone in the grieving procession. I begin to walk slowly past what feels like endless rows of people making my way towards the coffin at the other end of the room. As I reach the end of the aisle I briefly look over at a young couple sitting in the front row huddled closely together seeking refuge within each other’s arms, their faces are down, foreheads touching, their hands anxiously clinging to each other in their laps.
I draw my eyes away from their intimate moment and take two steps up to the open casket before me. The mahogany coffin is covered in an array of flowers and candles and I smile despite myself when I notice the coffin is lined in a deep red velvet, interesting choice for funeral colours. I lean over the coffin in the hope of finally laying my eyes upon the person I am here to say goodbye to. I’m shocked to find the coffin is empty. My eyes search the insides of the coffin frantically trying to make sense of my experience. It is then that I notice that no the casket is not quite empty. A delicately embellished antique hand held mirror lays within the folds of velvet. Unconsciously I pick it up, bringing the mirror up to my face, my reflection glares straight back at me. In my confusion my instinctual senses take over and it is now that I notice the music playing in the background. It’s my wedding song. The song I have always told my loved ones I want played at my own funeral. A knowingness begins to niggle within me. I slowly turn around, as I stand at the coffin I look out onto the people who fill the hall. From where I stand I notice that the young couple I saw earlier is my son, my much older son, the woman who now has her head gently nuzzled on his chest, I have never met, yet she weeps for me. I then look out and see my best friends, my parents, how could my parents be here? I see my aunties and uncles, even my grandparents are in the room whom I know have long since passed. I see old school teachers, work colleagues and neighbours. Every person I have ever known sits in the long wooden hall before me. I’m overwhelmed with joy at seeing all of their faces and at the same time pain and sadness at witnessing their grief. I scan the front row and now I see my daughter, my daughter and her whole family, I see my grandchildren with her, nuzzled under their fathers arms their young eyes heavy and red from crying. I have never met these children, Yet my heart compels my body forward with the desire to be with them. I physically try to step forward to comfort them but my legs cannot move.
No one seems to have noticed me standing in front of them. They are deeply lost in their own memories of me, and the consuming grief of their hearts to notice.
The music stops and the funeral director begins in her loud musical voice. “ Today we are here to celebrate the life of an incredible woman. A woman who stood for …… .”
I wake with a start. The residue of the dream is still heavy around me.
A woman who stood for what?
What will be said about me when I die? And perhaps more importantly What do I want to be said about me when I die?
Today, for many of us we are blessed to live in a time where we have the ability and opportunity to search out and live what we feel is our life’s purpose. We usually begin this quest for purpose by looking externality to find what we think that purpose may be. We look for the right label, degree or industry, in the hope that when we find something that feels right everything else in our lives will fall into place. Perhaps we have even claimed the title of healer, writer, actor or entrepreneur, and yet sometimes we still feel that something is missing. These titles may be what we do but they are not who we are. Plant spirits have taught me that we ourselves are our purpose, and that knowing yourself and being who it is that you truly are, is your only task.
This may sound simple but I’m sure most people who have begun this quest will agree the practice of being who we are, is far from simple.
Who we are is often buried behind suppressed trauma and pain not only our own but the pain past down by genetics, ancestral lines and cultural stories. Being who we are is sabotaged or masked by cultural expectations, people pleasing, misperceptions or even the expectations of following other peoples dreams. When women and men come to me in the search of their purpose I tell every single one of them that they are a healer. Some people look at me confused this is when I tell them
“ I believe you are a healer because we are all healers, and I believe this because every single plant spirit I work with has confirmed with me this truth.”
We are not healers because we practice reiki or massage. We are not healers because we studied psychology or physiotherapy or even because we are herbalists or doctors. We are healers because when we live according to our true nature and when we live by our personal truth we heal others simply by being who we are. We are all here to help heal each other. Why else would we be here together?
A big part of the journey to knowing yourself and being who you truly are is knowing what it is that you stand for.
So today I ask you, What will be said about you at your funeral procession? How did you heal others simply by being who you are?
At your death what do you imagine people will say that you stood for?
What do you think will have made you matter to them?
What do you want to hear them saying that you stood for? (What you think they will say and what you want them to say could currently be very different things)
What are you doing in your life to make the reality of this possible?
Where are you not behaving in a way that is aligned with how you want to be remembered?
This week I had the honour of journeying with the Spirit of Clary Sage for one of my plant Spirit reading clients. Each Plant Spirit has a unique type of medicine that they offer out to the world. When I retrieve a Plant Spirit Ally for someone the Plant that presents itself is always a plant that has similar medicine to the person that are coming to help. (whether or not that person is aware of this medicine or not.) Once I retrieve the universal medicine of the plant I then channel the particular gifts the Plant spirit had for the individual. Its a beauty-full and deep process. Here I have included my journey with the Spirit of Clary Sage and the universal medicine she brings to us all. If she speaks to you. Call her into your life and start to get to know each other.
I drifted on small wooden boat on a vast body of water, it could be the ocean or it could be a lake stretching as far as the eye can see. I am alone and not alone at the same time. All around me I feel a strong presence of something greater than anything I can put into words. Next to me on my seat lay 3 stems of clary sage. Her perfect purple flower vibrant against the green of her stem and the blue body of water that holds my driftwood grey boat. Her scent reaches me and I bring her closer to my nose, inhaling her unique sweet fragrance. Immediately I am transported to somewhere else, another time and another place. Before my eyes have time to adjust and take in my surroundings, she takes me of again, and again and again. Until I am nearly dizzy with the travel. Finally I end up back in my boat drifting gently on the water. This time the boat has another seat, in front on me there sits the spirit of Clary sage. I do not see her as any particular form just as pulsing light. When I finally give up trying to see her as something I understand, I hear in my mind her voice “The paths can be far and they can be wide but they always come from and return to the same place.”
The medicine of the Spirit of Clary Sage.
Clary sage is a plant that is here to help us to do a particular kind of healing. She is able to assist us with the fears we have of being engulfed by the unexpressed tears of the feminine, simply by being a human that is alive on this planet at this time our mental, spiritual and physical bodies are aware of the great injustices that have been shown towards the feminine over the thousands of years of patriarchal dominance. The fear of truly feeling into these injustices stops many of us stepping onto the true path of healing and embracing the gifts of the feminine.
Clary sage is a powerful plant ally for those of us who are doing work where we are required to be leaders during times of crisis. Clary sage has the ability to give aid and strength when we are discouraged by perceived failures.
Clary sage is also a great healer for those of us who are hard on ourselves and battle with the crippling nature of self-judgement and blame.
Clary sage teaches us to accept that our core feelings and emotions are valid. This in particular is why she is often prescribed as an aid for women with menstrual cycle and PMS dis-ease.
The spirit of Clary sage helps us to remember our spiritual selves. She shows us how to sink into a state of spiritual harmony and a feelings of wholeness about our lives.
Its the dark of the moon and I am weary. Each stair I climb to my room feels like a mountain. A mountain that dares me not to cross. The thought of rest leaves me both with a longing and a fear. What will I find there, in that place of rest?
Sitting on my bed my hands reach for the oil of basil and I ungracefully yank off the lid. My exhaustion has made me messy and rough, as I reach for the diffuser my hand knocks my tea. I mutter words under my breathe equally as rough and heavy as I feel. Watching the oil slowly drip into the waters below, my thoughts spiral. The heady scent of basil washes over me and out into my room giving my mind a moment of respite. I say a quick prayer to the spirit of basil, quick because I can manage no more. I ask him to help me to empty, to help me let go of all that no longer serves, to help me to surrender to what is. I watch basil, his samurai warrior spirit enter the room and take up space, sending tingling sensations through the cells of my body.
Ripping off my crushed velvet leggings I pull back the covers of my bed. Sitting, I sink back into my pillows feeling the softness and tenderness of my sheets against my skin. My bed, the refugee I constantly seek since becoming a mother. Holding my tea close to my face I take a slow conscious breathe, allowing the brewed herbs to wash over me before I take my first gentle sip, some of the held tension in my body leaves me as I exhale with an audible sigh. Placing the tea back down, I pick up my book and attempt to read a page before I involuntarily start to sob. Raw emotion rises in waves racking through my body. My mind runs to catch up with my emotions and when she manages to reach them the pleasure of release consumes me. My heart gently whispers, It’s been so long since we’ve been here.
Gratitude for this quiet moment of self care washes over me, tears of exhaustion and happiness rushing down my face, like an annoitment from the goddess herself. My tears become blessings of water, liquid to heal my weary soul. I finish my tea, and I sleep.
The term ‘self care’ is thrown around a lot in the personal development and healing world. It often tests up during my healings as support for clients. I ask the glorious woman or man sitting before me the question “Do you have a self care practice?” The usual response “I sometimes go for a massage.” Or “what do you mean?”
Massages are wonderful but they are a tiny part of what I would consider self care.
Self care is saying no when many people want you to say yes. Self care is doing things your way when the world tells you ‘that’s not the way things are done’. Self care is protecting and ‘caring’ for all parts of yourself mental, emotional, physical and energetic whilst living from the passion of your heart.
Self care is not just a monthly massage, its a daily choice.
The choice be true to your needs, the choice to focus on your priorities, the choice to practice love. Whether those priorities are your business or children Its the daily management of what comes in and what goes out of your life that becomes a self care practice.
We live in a culture that by its very nature creates physical exhaustion. We are always ‘on’, striving forward, hitting targets, reaching goals, our lists are endless and our minds are busy. We have forgotten the natural rhythms of this earth. We have Forgotten that the moon herself is not always full, as I write this she is currently dark. Nature teaches us there MUST be times of rest.
For me reclaiming my ability to care for myself took small baby steps. Sometimes I got it ‘right’ and sometimes I got it ‘wrong’. I no longer strive for balance but I do strive for harmony. Self care is the practice of loving yourself. There are many reasons we stop loving ourselves or struggle with the compassion we need to love ourselves well. To have the ability practice self care, to truly mother ourselves is a true sign of reaching adulthood, and spiritual maturity. Without this ability the way we care for all others, our children, our partners, our friends, will always come from a place of lack. Life will feel too full, unfulfilling, out of control or simply empty.
So today I ask you, what is your self care practice?
Journal Questions to uncover your self care blocks:
What did rest look like for you growing up? ( Think back to your childhood Did you witness your mother resting, did she give herself permission to say no? Was your home busy and always active? Did rest happen but not in a truly regenerative way?)
How is the story of your childhood playing out in your life now? (Have you followed your mothers or fathers patterns? Have you done the opposite. How do you feel about setting your own boundaries?)
When do you rest and practice self care? ( does this feel like its enough for you? How could it be better?)
Where do you neglect yourself and your needs? (Why are these areas harder than others for you?)
When you hear the term Self care, how does it make you feel? (Where do you hold this in your body? What story is your body telling you?)
Id love to hear back from you. Where are your blocks? What is your story? What can you do to commit to a better practise of self care?
Blessings and Love Amanda